Focus always seems to be on ways to improve yourself. Remember, we never outgrow how we can become a better human. However, I want to write a little bit about the dynamics in a relationship/friendships- and how personal growth can definitely change the course with those people. When you choose to grow for the better, you notice those around you begin to change in behavior, too.
Many things can come into play when we talk about who we welcome into our life, and who we simply can turn away from with no remorse. Past pains with that particular person can really help to lean away from the mismanaged relationship. Recognize the pain, but do not hold a grudge against that person(oh, the challenge of THAT!) This is where your boundary is necessary, \”I forgive you, but you cannot hurt me again.\” Think of how trust can be broken and cause strain between two people. Betrayal is a harsh reality between friends/family, most people would never intentionally hurt someone- but most damaged people resort to inflicting pain on loved ones, AND that hurts more than anything. (FYI: if you have suffered with these pains, it can cause damage to one\’s psyche regarding any future friendship/love between people: make time to heal, so it won\’t come up in the future with others). Those that have caused this pain to you: let them go respectfully, for your own health.
It\’s completely NATURAL to have the occasional drift in friendships- as we grow, many times the \’new you\’ is fought back with anger and resentment because those around us have no idea who THIS person is…Ha. Be okay with their reaction(realize that is a natural emotion with change)- you can try to explain to maybe \’cushion the friendship\’, but don\’t be afraid to call it a great loss. Grieve it, but let it go. Stay focused on the path you want, the future you long to have[realize it may or may not include those that have been around you for(possibly) years]. Welcome the bittersweet thought of moving forward alone. You will meet so many amazing people as you move into your next phase; get a little more excited for the possibilities, please! Should you be anxious? Absolutely…I would say that\’s a normal feeling with not knowing what lies ahead of you.
Bid farewell to those that can\’t support your decisions, changes and the improvements(it might just look messy now, but I know you\’ll make it through). Remember, in order to be at your best, you have to take what appears like a selfish road; TAKE IT- on the other side is where the old you and the new you \’merge\’ together. Continue to trudge forward- with or without those that have been with you up until this point. It\’s hard. It\’s okay to cry! It IS the loss of people whom you\’ve had in your life and that are still alive and well, but just want different things than you. It doesn\’t make you \’the bad guy/girl\’. It is simply a part of life that you have never been dealt before. Hang in there. Keep pushing to your goal. The right ones will gravitate back to you, and the wrong ones will move on, as well. Don\’t blame yourself- acknowledge the guilt you may feel, but don\’t dwell there- keep going. Boundaries AND your happiness are of the up-most importance! Whatever you have planned for your future, don\’t \’people-please\’ just to keep friendships the same. Let them evolve or dissolve.